Coming soon to a 50 acre plot near you
I was on the road for about six hours yesterday, driving to North Carolina and back with Rowan so we could pick up a pair of caiques which were being relinquished to us. "Relinquish" is probably a harsh word for the actual situation because the birds weren't being mistreated in any way, but saying "given up" doesn't sound so hot either.
Anyways, I hadn't been to central North Carolina before. My only experiences with the state were limited to the Outer Banks and I have a feeling that doesn't give a very accurate portrait of the rest of the place, unless all of North Carolina really gets a kick out of seafood-related double entendre on every second billboard.
No, apparently when you reach the central portion they prefer their billboards with a bit more Outlet Mallness to them. Straightforward, humorless, to the point. J&R CIGARS Exit 97. J&R DOLLS Exit 97. CIGARETTES AND FIREWORKS Exit 95. BURN WARD Exit 96.
It didn't really get to me though, except when I started to think about how similar certain things looked, in places, to Virginia. We only took the one exit and didn't travel around but a couple of miles off the highway, but every twenty or thirty miles, looking from the highway, there seemed to be an explosion of same-ness.
I guess I hadn't thought about it too much because I don't travel an awful lot, but it seems like whenever I do go on the road I run into these ready-made shopping installations. Usually they start just after some run-down, locally-owned places and end abruptly at an abandoned farmhouse. In-between is a compact collection of Target/Wal*Mart, PetSmart/PetCo, Dollar Tree/Dollar General and the rest of the assorted "boring and I hate them until I need something" places common to apparently everywhere.
And it's not even that these areas exist that bothers me. People need jobs and want to buy stuff, these places provide both jobs and stuff. It's a perfect fit. It's that when you drive just out of their reach and you see the countryside that you just know is not going to be there two years from now.
A few weeks ago I was driving through Spotsylvania, about an hour north of Richmond, when I hit one of these patches of commerce and the farmland which followed. Ten years ago the people out there were probably all singing to themselves "La la la, we're out in the country, it's pretty neat" and then bang!, chicken strips within walking distance.
I do want to eventually move to the country, but it's as if you have to give yourself a 75 mile buffer between your home and the closest Marshall's in order to ensure it actually remains the country until either a) you die or b) you hit the lottery and buy a small island.
Though if I did end up with an island it might be nice, I think, to have a small Target on there. Cheap flip-flops you know.
Anyways, I hadn't been to central North Carolina before. My only experiences with the state were limited to the Outer Banks and I have a feeling that doesn't give a very accurate portrait of the rest of the place, unless all of North Carolina really gets a kick out of seafood-related double entendre on every second billboard.
No, apparently when you reach the central portion they prefer their billboards with a bit more Outlet Mallness to them. Straightforward, humorless, to the point. J&R CIGARS Exit 97. J&R DOLLS Exit 97. CIGARETTES AND FIREWORKS Exit 95. BURN WARD Exit 96.
It didn't really get to me though, except when I started to think about how similar certain things looked, in places, to Virginia. We only took the one exit and didn't travel around but a couple of miles off the highway, but every twenty or thirty miles, looking from the highway, there seemed to be an explosion of same-ness.
I guess I hadn't thought about it too much because I don't travel an awful lot, but it seems like whenever I do go on the road I run into these ready-made shopping installations. Usually they start just after some run-down, locally-owned places and end abruptly at an abandoned farmhouse. In-between is a compact collection of Target/Wal*Mart, PetSmart/PetCo, Dollar Tree/Dollar General and the rest of the assorted "boring and I hate them until I need something" places common to apparently everywhere.
And it's not even that these areas exist that bothers me. People need jobs and want to buy stuff, these places provide both jobs and stuff. It's a perfect fit. It's that when you drive just out of their reach and you see the countryside that you just know is not going to be there two years from now.
A few weeks ago I was driving through Spotsylvania, about an hour north of Richmond, when I hit one of these patches of commerce and the farmland which followed. Ten years ago the people out there were probably all singing to themselves "La la la, we're out in the country, it's pretty neat" and then bang!, chicken strips within walking distance.
I do want to eventually move to the country, but it's as if you have to give yourself a 75 mile buffer between your home and the closest Marshall's in order to ensure it actually remains the country until either a) you die or b) you hit the lottery and buy a small island.
Though if I did end up with an island it might be nice, I think, to have a small Target on there. Cheap flip-flops you know.
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