I've been sitting on a number of ideas for a few months now which I could never figure out how to expand to article length, so I decided to just throw them all down in one massive explosion of unfulfilled potential.
I think this will help me clear my head as well and make room for more interesting, expandable ideas. I think. Well, in any event, check out what might have been:
As the old, balding actor said, "My hair used to have a nice part, but now there is barely enough for an audition."
What if there had been modern-style caricaturists in ancient Rome?
"What do you like to do? You like chariots? I'm going to draw you driving a chariot."
Some things we could do without
Li'l Bigot's Prejuteria
Everything But the Anus (and Sometimes the Anus)
Dubious Guinness Records
Most Chainsaws Juggled in Pitch Black Darkness
34, by James Scrimshaw (1984, Birmingham, UK)
Fattest Thin Man
Raul Chavchavdze at 6' 2", 165lb (2005, Tbilisi, Georgia)
See, all Grade-A lead that couldn't quite be made into gold. Perhaps these could be considered small chunks of bronze. Or maybe still lead that's just been piled up, I don't know. Look at me, I got the lead out! Metaphors are not my strong suit.